Some days as a solo parent, it feels like you’re living with your head just above water. The bills pile up, the kids need your attention, and every ounce of energy goes to just making it through. When life is this overwhelming, joy feels like a luxury you can’t afford.
Our guest, Helen Smallbone, knows that reality well. As a mother of seven, grandmother, and co-founder of MUMLife, she has walked through seasons of loss and scarcity. Her story reminds us that resilience doesn’t always mean fixing every problem, it often begins with reframing hardship into something meaningful, even adventurous.
Key Insights from This Episode
- Survival mode clouds our ability to be present
- Reframing hardship as adventure can shift the atmosphere
- Gratitude opens the door to resilience
Survival mode clouds our ability to be present
When the weight of trauma or hardship takes over, it’s hard to notice the beauty in front of us. The constant press of survival can rob us of presence and connection, keeping us from truly engaging with our kids or even noticing the good around us. Naming this reality is the first step in loosening its grip.
Reframing hardship as adventure can shift the atmosphere
Scarcity often tempts us into despair, but it can also invite creativity. Turning a furniture-less house into a “camping trip,” or a day of chores into a game, shifts the entire environment. Our kids don’t need us to have it all together. They need us to model how to face disappointment with resilience. Choosing adventure doesn’t erase hardship, but it changes the way our children remember it, and it keeps joy alive even in the storm.
Gratitude opens the door to resilience
Gratitude is a discipline that softens fear and bitterness. Even small acts, like noticing a smile, thanking God for food on the table, or treating weeds in the yard as a chance to care for what’s yours, retrain the heart to see the glass half full. Gratitude doesn’t deny pain, but it grounds us in the truth that God provides. Over time, that perspective becomes the soil where resilience grows.
Listener Question
“There are some things I really regret as a parent. Things I wish I hadn’t said, ways I shouldn’t have responded, problems I didn’t notice, or situations I could have handled differently. How do I forgive myself for my past mistakes when I know they’ve affected my children?”
Robert shared vulnerably from his own experience, saying he had to face many regrets as a single dad. He emphasized that kids are resilient, and sometimes repair, going back, apologizing, and owning mistakes, can be even more powerful than having gotten it right in the first place.
Helen added that parents shouldn’t be afraid to name the mistake, apologize directly, and even pray with their children for healing. She stressed not to justify mistakes with a “but” and reminded parents that God can release the deeper wounds if brought before Him.
Resources Mentioned In This Episode
- MUMLife: A ministry co-founded by Helen to create safe spaces where mothers encourage and uplift one another through authentic connection, biblical teaching, and shared experience.
- Unsung Hero: A feature film inspired by the Smallbone family’s journey of loss, faith, and resilience, showing how God provided for them in unexpected ways.
We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Submit your listener questions HERE.
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