When you’re walking through a hard season as a solo parent, the future can feel like a blank wall. Maybe you used to dream about what could be. Now? You can barely make it through today, much less envision what’s ahead.
You’re not broken. You’re not failing. And you are not alone.
In this week’s episode, we dive deep into something many of us are feeling but struggle to name: horizonlessness. That numb, directionless feeling where nothing excites you about the future, and sometimes you can’t even picture what “better” would look like anymore.
If you’ve ever thought, “Why can’t I seem to move forward?” or “Why do I just feel stuck?” this conversation is for you.
We’re unpacking the real emotional roadblocks that can cloud our ability to dream again after loss, betrayal, or chronic stress. And we’re offering practical, hope-filled ways to find your footing again, one small step at a time.
Today We Cover Three Main Points:
- Feeling numb or blank about the future after loss or prolonged stress
- Battling the anxiety that creeps in when we try to control or predict what’s ahead
- Learning how to reconnect with ourselves when everything feels disoriented
Why does this matter? Because solo parenting isn’t just about surviving today. It’s about slowly, courageously, reclaiming tomorrow, even when you can’t see it yet.
Key Insights from This Episode:
1. Horizonlessness is a biological survival response, not a personal failure.
Elizabeth shared how the word “horizonlessness,” introduced through a podcast with Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, put a name to something she had been quietly wrestling with since her divorce.
After deep stress or trauma, our brains flip into survival mode, shutting down the future-planning part of our minds. It’s not that you’re unmotivated or lazy. It’s that your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you.
“There’s nothing wrong with your brain,” Elizabeth said. “It’s actually doing what it was built to do.”
Acknowledging this can lift some of the shame and self-judgment that keeps us stuck.
2. You don’t have to fix your blank future, you just need to stand in today.
Instead of trying to force yourself to dream big dreams when your heart isn’t ready, the invitation is simple: Find one small thing to look forward to today.
It could be your morning coffee. A short walk. A conversation with a friend.
Amber described how grounding practices, like noticing your body, practicing gratitude, and affirming your identity, can gently reconnect you with hope.
“I am kind. I am resilient. I like Diet Coke.”
It sounds simple, even silly, but remembering who you are anchors you when the future feels too far away to grasp.
3. Rebuilding trust in the future starts with compassion, not control.
When the future feels uncertain, many of us instinctively try to control it. But trying to strategize our way out of pain often leads to more anxiety.
Instead, Robert encouraged embracing surrender.
“It’s not about fixing horizonlessness. It’s about being aware that there’s no clear vision ahead and living well anyway.”
Learning to hold uncertainty with open hands is not weakness, it’s wisdom. It creates space for new possibilities to emerge without the crushing weight of expectation.
Listener Question of the Week:
“How can I be involved in my child’s social life while still respecting their privacy?”
Robert shared that as kids grow, curiosity is key:
“I just stay curious. I ask questions without being invasive. That way, they come to me because they know I’m a safe space.”
Amber reminded us that young kids need more supervision and structure, but as they mature, we shift toward partnership and trust.
Elizabeth emphasized creating a safe environment early on so kids naturally keep coming back: “When Jax was younger, we built trust by having open conversations. Now he knows when to pull back from unhealthy situations without me having to intervene.”
The thread through all three perspectives? Stay engaged, stay available, and prioritize relationship over control.
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