Guest: Dr. Anthony Scroggins, Performance Psychologist and Founder of Delta Summit
It doesn’t take much to feel overwhelmed as a solo parent. One harsh text from a co-parent, one after-school meltdown, one work deadline that doesn’t align with childcare, and suddenly, you’re doing everything in your power not to explode or shut down. Some days, it feels like your only two options are to power up and dominate the moment, or disappear entirely to avoid more damage.
Neither response feels good. And more often than not, the moment passes, but the self-doubt lingers.
In this episode, we explore how solo parents can build emotional resilience, communicate more effectively in tense relationships, and stay grounded even when the pressure doesn’t let up. Dr. Anthony Scroggins joins us to offer real-life strategies backed by science. He’s a performance psychologist who’s trained everyone from NASA astronauts to US Army Special Forces, and he’s also a dad of four kids under eight. His insight doesn’t just sound smart, it feels human.
We’re diving into the daily challenges that wear us down: co-parenting conflict, emotional outbursts from our kids, the pressure to over-perform at work, and how we can handle it all without losing ourselves in the process.
Key Insights from This Episode
- You have more power than you think in how a conflict plays out.
- How you interpret someone’s behavior shapes your entire emotional response.
- You teach others how to respect your limits…at work, at home, and with yourself.
You have more power than you think in how a conflict plays out
Let’s start with the tension that so many solo parents carry: co-parenting conflict. When there’s no emotional safety between you and your co-parent, even a forgotten antibiotic or a missed pickup can feel like sabotage. It’s hard not to read passive aggression into the silence—or hostility into a short message.
Dr. Scroggins recommends the BIFF model: Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. For example: “Joey’s medication didn’t come home. Can you bring it by at 7 PM? Thank you.” No added emotional charge. No accusation. Just clarity.
It might not change the other person’s behavior, but it does protect your peace. “You actually hold the power of setting the stage for what this communication looks like,” Elizabeth shared. “Even if they come in at a ten, I get to choose to stay at a two.” That kind of composure isn’t about weakness, it’s strength, with boundaries.
How you interpret someone’s behavior spades your entire emotional response
One of the most practical strategies for managing emotional reactivity, especially when tensions rise, is cognitive reframing. It means choosing to interpret someone’s behavior through a different lens. Instead of “they’re doing this on purpose to make my life hard,” you might think, “this is how they’re dealing with their own insecurity or stress.”
You may never know the real reason for someone’s behavior. But the meaning you assign to it will shape your entire response. As Dr. Scroggins said, “You might as well select the one that’s better for your psychological well-being.”
That same principle applies with our kids. When they come in hot, our instinct is to match their energy, to shut it down fast so we can just get out the door or keep things on track. But emotional maturity in parenting starts with regulating ourselves. It’s less about stopping the tantrum and more about meeting them with calm curiosity. Try this: “You really didn’t want to wear that shirt, did you? I see that.” You can name the feeling, disapprove of the behavior (“it’s not okay to throw your shoes”), and redirect without escalating.
And if you don’t get it right? That doesn’t make you a failure, it makes you human. One of the most powerful tools for building resilience is what you do after the hard moment. Take a breath. Reflect. Write down three things you did well today, even if one of them is just “I noticed I didn’t like how I handled that, and I want to do better next time.”
You teach others how to respect your limits…at work, at home, and with yourself
Workplace stress adds another layer to the challenge. Many solo parents feel the need to overcompensate, answering emails at midnight, picking up extra assignments, never asking for help. But that only leads to burnout.
Dr. Scroggins suggests setting clear, kind boundaries with your boss and coworkers. Let them know your needs in advance. Communicate them with respect. And then, deliver visible wins. “You train people how to treat you,” Elizabeth shared. “If you show up strong when you’re there, people are more likely to honor your boundaries when you’re not.”
Building trust at work isn’t just about what you don’t do, it’s also about how you lift others up. Publicly crediting your coworkers in meetings builds relational equity and creates a sense of shared support. It’s not about proving your worth. It’s about integrating into a community where you’re respected and valued as a whole person, including the part of you who’s parenting solo.
Listener Question
“Whenever I play a game with my kids, it starts off fun, but someone always ends up in tears. How can I teach my kids to be good losers?”
Dr. Scroggins, who’s no stranger to sibling meltdowns in his own household, offered this: Focus less on who won and more on why we play. “The purpose of the game is to have fun. You can say, ‘Yes, your sister won this round, but wasn’t it fun when you carried seven books at once?’” Celebrate moments, not outcomes. Over time, that perspective teaches kids that connection matters more than competition.
At the heart of everything we talked about in this episode is one powerful truth: You don’t need to be perfect, you just need to keep showing up with curiosity, compassion, and the courage to try again. That’s resilience. And it’s something you can build, one choice at a time.
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
- Delta Summit: Learn more about Dr. Anthony Scroggins’ work in performance psychology, resilience, and decision-making under pressure: https://www.linkedin.com/company/deltasummitconsulting/
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