Sometimes the moment you realize you are empty comes out of nowhere. You are brushing your teeth at night or answering one more question from your child, and suddenly you feel it. That quiet drop inside your chest. That heaviness that whispers, “I don’t have anything left.”
Solo parents often live in that tension. You want to give generously to the people you love, and you do. But somewhere along the way, the giving becomes automatic. The days stack up. The needs multiply. And without noticing it, you begin running on fumes while still trying to look strong for everyone around you.
This episode speaks directly to that ache. It explores the deeper reasons why solo parents overextend themselves and the emotional cost of constantly feeling “on.” It also gets honest about the resentment that sneaks in when you are doing all the right things for all the right reasons, yet still feel depleted. These pain points matter because they shape how we show up for our kids, how we treat ourselves, and ultimately how much of our lives we are actually present for.
Key Insights from This Episode
- Holding things sacred begins with seeing yourself as sacred
- Boundaries are tools of self-respect, not barriers to keep people out
- Small daily choices determine whether your energy is invested or wasted
Holding things sacred begins with seeing yourself as sacred
When Amber Fuller, a counselor with a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy (MMFT), began describing what it means to treat something as sacred, she didn’t start with money or time. She started with identity. “When you treat your resources with reverence and respect,” she said, “you are treating yourself that way.”
That lands hard for solo parents who feel they do not have the luxury of choice. Many shared that it often never feels like they have the option to pause, rest, or ask for help. Robert remembered seasons of giving without intention. Amber talked about the years when she handled everything alone, stretched so thin she barely noticed how depleted she had become. Elizabeth described the emotional whiplash of giving and giving until the resentment built beneath the surface.
It is not that solo parents do not want to hold their lives sacred. It is that they have learned how to survive by ignoring their own limits.
But sacredness is not theoretical. As Elizabeth joked using a Taylor Swift analogy, we must treat our energy “like it is expensive,” because it is. If someone has not earned our emotional investment, they do not automatically get it. This is not selfishness. It is stewardship. It is choosing to honor your own life so you can continue to show up for your children with presence, kindness, and clarity.
Boundaries are tools of self-respect, not barriers to keep people out
Boundaries are often misunderstood as walls. In this conversation, they become more like gentle fences around a garden. They protect the soil where your peace, values, and emotional strength grow.
Elizabeth described the quiet resentment that forms not from what others do but from what we allow. When she stays too long on a call or gives up rest she needed, she later feels drained and frustrated. “That is not on anybody else,” she said. “That is on me.”
Amber shared a story of needing space from a friend whose growing bitterness became emotionally heavy. When she finally communicated that she could not carry someone else’s pain while already fighting her own, it caused hurt, but it was necessary. Protecting her heart was not cruelty. It was survival.
Boundaries allow you to differentiate between what is good and what is good for you in this season. They force clarity. They remind you that even helpful, meaningful, or noble things can drain you if they come at the wrong time.
And boundaries with money are part of this too. Whether it is reevaluating bills, checking subscriptions, setting spending limits with your kids, or separating accounts for clarity, these choices create room to breathe. They protect your emotional life as much as your financial one.
Small daily choices determine whether your energy is invested or wasted
Holding things sacred is not a personality trait. It is a practice. One small choice at a time.
Amber shared simple language that gives your brain time to pause:
“Let me think about that.”
“Thank you for asking. Can I have a minute?”
“When do you need to know?”
These phrases create space between impulse and commitment, which is essential for people who naturally say yes before considering the cost.
Elizabeth admitted she can be a “yes person” fueled by excitement or fear of missing out. But she has learned that pausing to look at her week keeps her from committing to things she will later resent.
Robert explained how he has started equating time with money. If a task would drain two hours of emotional energy, he asks himself whether it is worth “spending” that much.
Other simple practices included:
• Prioritizing non negotiable time after kids go to bed for reading, tea, or rest
• Using Do Not Disturb to break the pull of constant notifications
• Creating a spending freeze in certain areas when stress is high
• Keeping a weekly emotional inventory of where resentment or regret showed up
• Investing in joy, even if it is not productive, like reading fiction or doing yard work
These choices may seem small, but together they create a life with more intention and fewer leaks.
Listener Question
“What do I do when my child constantly wants my attention, but I am exhausted and need space for myself or am trying to get work done?”
Robert began by saying that sometimes simply listening reduces the urgency. “If I can just look at you and listen,” he explained, “it lowers the pressure even if I cannot meet the need right away.”
Amber added that listening helps you understand what kind of “alarm” is going off. Is it a fire? A complaint? A loneliness issue? Once you identify what the child truly needs, the situation feels more manageable.
Elizabeth shared practical strategies she uses with her son: “I never say yes immediately when he asks to buy something. I always say, ‘We’ll talk about it later.’” She also borrowed an idea from another single mom who uses a kitchen timer for quiet playtime. “Mommy needs quiet time. Set the timer for 30 minutes. When it goes off, I will come play with you.” It fosters independence, structure, and reassurance all at once.
The shared theme: your child’s constant requests may be a signal of deeper need. A small, intentional moment of connection often stretches much farther than constant fragmented attention.
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