In a world that measures value by productivity, appearance, and holiday perfection, many solo parents quietly feel like they are failing. The house might be full of noise and wrapping paper, or it might feel painfully empty once the kids leave, yet underneath it all sits a question that will not go away: “Do I matter? Does my story still count to God?” This conversation with Curtis “CZ” Zackery, author of Soul Rest and founder of Find Rest, sits right in that tension and refuses to rush past it.
Today, we cover three main points:
• How God works through unlikely beginnings
• Why your story still carries worth even when life feels heavy
• How the message of Christmas offers hope to weary hearts
Christmas can be a loud, glittering reminder of what you do not have. No partner, an empty house once the kids leave, a budget that barely stretches to cover groceries, much less gifts.
If you feel behind, less than, or invisible in this season, remember you are not broken. You are human. And this is exactly where the gospel and the story of “O Holy Night” meet you.
How God works through unlikely beginnings.
You feel the pressure to make Christmas magical, keep the schedule running, manage finances, steward kids’ emotions, and somehow still show up as a whole person. When things do not look like the life you imagined, it is easy to start believing you are falling behind spiritually, emotionally, and practically.
That quiet belief grows: “Maybe my life is small. Maybe God cannot really use someone with my story.”
Curtis “CZ” Zackery shares the surprising history of “O Holy Night,” and it sounds a lot like the way God works in real life: through people who do not seem qualified on paper.
The lyrics began with a French poet who did not even go to church, yet he pored over Luke 2 and wrote words that have carried the gospel for generations. The music was composed by a Jewish man who did not believe Jesus was the Messiah. Later, the song was translated and championed by an American abolitionist and Unitarian minister who heard the line, “Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother,” and recognized it as an anthem for human dignity and freedom.
None of these people fit the “perfect” religious mold. Yet God wove their contributions together into a song that has brought countless people to tears, worship, and hope.
If God can use a non-church going poet, a Jewish composer, and a complicated minister to carry the story of Jesus into the world, He can absolutely work through the messy, imperfect story of a solo parent.
Your background, your pain, your detours, and the pieces of your life that feel disqualified might actually be the very places God uses to sing hope over others.
Why your story still carries worth even when life feels heavy.
The heart of this episode rests on one lyric: “Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.”
CZ talks about how this line captures the human condition. We live in a world that is stained by sin and brokenness. There is a deep, built-in longing for something more, something whole, something eternal. Scripture says God has set eternity in our hearts, and all of creation is groaning to be restored.
That groaning shows up as loneliness and exhaustion when you are carrying everything alone, shame over choices you have made or things that were done to you, the sense that you are not worthless exactly, but that you are worth less than others because of your story.
CZ names that reality so clearly: many solo parents live with this quiet sense of being “worth less.” Less desirable. Less spiritual. Less whole. Less chosen.
He reminds us of the scandal of the gospel. The God of the universe looks at your life and says, “You are worth my Son.”
You are worth redemption, restoration, healing, newness of life, and genuine flourishing.
When Jesus appears, your soul finally knows its worth. Not because your circumstances change, or your family picture looks how you hoped, but because God Himself has stepped into your story.
Robert Beeson, founder and CEO of Solo Parent, reflects on that lyric and says the line that hits him hardest is the idea that our soul knows it is worth God breaking through to be with us. Single parent, Elizabeth Cole, adds that there are small, sacred moments when that reality cuts through the noise and she can feel her soul exhale. It might be through a song, a quiet moment of worship, or an unexpected reminder of God’s presence.
You will not live in that feeling every minute of every day. But when those glimpses come, the invitation is to notice them, hold onto them for as long as you can, and let your soul rest in the truth that you are deeply loved.
How the message of Christmas offers hope to weary hearts.
CZ talks about how Christmas carries a strong cultural pull. There are lights, gifts, gatherings, music, and traditions. For some, it is cozy and comforting. For others, it is a magnifying glass on grief, loss, or disappointment.
He shares a quote about Advent that says:
Christmas has become cozy. Advent calls us to stay awake.
That idea sits right at the center of this episode. Whether Christmas feels warm or painful this year, the invitation is the same: stay awake.
Stay awake to the thrill of hope in a weary world. Stay awake to the presence of God in your living room, in your car, in the quiet moments after the kids leave.
Stay awake to the ways your soul is quietly telling you, “You are worth more than what happened to you. You are worth more than your mistakes. You are worth the God who came near.”
For single parents, staying awake can mean resisting the urge to overfunction, numb out, or bury yourself in busyness. It looks like pausing long enough to let the reality of Jesus’ birth sink in. CZ reminds us that the incarnation – God becoming human – is not sentimental decoration. It is the central event in the history of the earth, the very thing the whole story has been leading toward.
Listener Question
“If you were going to a holiday potluck, what would be your go-to recipe, or what is one of your favorite Christmas dishes?”
CZ describes his mom’s famous stuffing with sausage and peaches. It sounds a little surprising, but he talks about how the sweetness and richness come together in a way that feels like pure comfort on a plate.
Robert shares about a salted caramel he began making in his solo season with his daughters. It is tricky and messy and has to be watched closely so it does not burn, but the shared effort and the result became one of their Christmas traditions.
Elizabeth lights up when she talks about fudge pie, a dessert that has been passed through her family for years. When it shows up at the table, it is not just a dish. It is a reminder of belonging and continuity.
On the surface, it is a fun conversation about holiday food. Underneath, it is a quiet reminder to solo parents: you are allowed to build small, sacred traditions right where you are.
A simple dish. A recipe you always bring. A song you play every year. These are the little anchors of joy and memory that remind you and your kids that your story is still worth celebrating.
Resources Mentioned In This Episode
- Soul Rest by Curtis “CZ” Zackery: This book reveals how our misaligned view of rest has its roots in an identity that is out of rhythm with God.
- Find Rest: This organization (founded by Curtis “CZ” Zackery) offers personalized coaching, spiritual care, leadership support, and Bible study guidance designed to help individuals and organizations regain balance in their lives.
Additional Resources:
