Some days as a solo parent, confidence feels like a moving target. You can wake up determined to face the day, only to find yourself doubting your decisions by breakfast. You second-guess what you said to your child, wonder if you are doing enough, and feel the familiar weight of carrying everything alone. Confidence, for many solo parents, is not about feeling strong all the time. It is about trying to stay upright when life keeps asking more than feels reasonable.
This episode speaks directly to that quiet, exhausting struggle. It addresses the pain of feeling like you must do it all on your own, the way harsh self-talk chips away at your sense of worth, and the fear that every mistake somehow proves you are failing your kids. These pain points matter because confidence does not just shape how you feel. It shapes how you parent, how you show up in relationships, and how much hope you allow yourself to imagine for the future.
Key Insights from This Episode
- You were never meant to carry everything alone.
- The way you talk to yourself either strengthens you or slowly wears you down.
- Your worth does not disappear when you fail. It often becomes clearer.
You were never meant to carry everything alone.
Confidence begins to grow when we stop pretending we can do this alone. So many solo parents live under an unspoken rule that says, “You should be able to handle this.” When things fall through the cracks, that belief turns into shame. Marriage and Family Therapist and single parent, Amber Fuller, shared that accepting our humanity is often the first step toward confidence. A family was never meant to be the responsibility of one person. When you release the false expectation that you should manage everything by yourself, compassion has room to take root.
Single parent, Elizabeth, talked about how easily we overlook everything we are actually doing. It is natural to focus on what did not get done, the plate that dropped, the detail you forgot. But there is another perspective available. Looking honestly at all you carry and saying, “Wow, look at what I am doing,” shifts the narrative. Confidence is not built by perfection. It is built by acknowledging reality with kindness.
Delegation plays a role here too. That might mean allowing someone to help, paying for support when possible, or simply deciding that some things do not need to be done today. Elizabeth described how wearing exhaustion like a badge of honor can quietly turn into resentment or self-pity. Letting go of that pattern creates space for healthier confidence, the kind rooted in self-respect rather than survival.
The way you talk to yourself either strengthens you or slowly wears you down.
Self-talk is where confidence is often won or lost. Many solo parents live with a relentless inner critic that narrates every interaction and decision. Amber shared how learning to quiet that voice was essential. That critic insists you must do everything perfectly, and when you cannot, it tells you that you are not enough. Becoming aware of that voice is the first step. You cannot change a thought you do not notice.
Elizabeth pointed to the power of identifying broken thought patterns and replacing them with ones that are more grounded and true. The first thought that shows up when you imagine a goal or reflect on a mistake often reveals the story you are telling yourself. If that story says you are incapable or unworthy, it will quietly erode your confidence. Replacing it takes intention and repetition. It also takes community.
Amber emphasized that self-talk is not something we are meant to manage in isolation. Inviting trusted voices into your life can help counter the lies you tell yourself. Sometimes confidence grows when someone else reminds you of what you cannot see. That might be a friend who tells you to stop being so hard on yourself or a safe person who gently challenges the story you are believing.
Founder and CEO of Solo Parent, Robert Beeson, shared that for him, confidence has also come from reflecting on how God sees him. Instead of spiraling in self-judgment, he described opening himself up to a different voice that speaks truth without condemnation. That practice shifted confidence away from performance and toward something deeper and steadier. Confidence rooted in identity lasts longer than confidence built on circumstances.
Your worth does not disappear when you fail. It often becomes clearer.
Believing in your worth when you fail may be the hardest part of all. Solo parents drop balls. Mistakes happen. When they do, it is easy to let failure define you. Amber talked about being intentional with the voices she allows to shape her sense of worth. Not every opinion deserves space in your life. Choosing which voices matter is an act of self-care and courage.
Elizabeth reframed failure as an opportunity to learn and grow. She shared that understanding her limitations has actually helped her value what she brings to the table. Knowing where you are not strong allows others to step in and shine. Confidence grows when you stop trying to be everything and start honoring who you actually are.
Robert reflected on the difference between worth and value. Worth is intrinsic. It does not change when you fail. Value often grows through experience, including mistakes. When you learn from what went wrong, you are not losing ground. You are gaining wisdom. That shift changes how failure feels. Instead of a verdict on your character, it becomes a teacher.
Elizabeth shared how fear of loss once kept her from living fully. After experiencing deep loss, she found herself shrinking back, guarding her heart, and letting negative self-talk dictate her choices. Over time, she realized that she had already survived the worst. That realization became freeing. Living fully, even with risk, felt better than living small out of fear. Confidence returned when she trusted herself to survive whatever came next.
Amber reflected on how that kind of confidence allows you to take risks again. When you know you can endure hard things, you stop organizing your life around avoidance. You begin to show up more honestly. That authenticity builds confidence not only in yourself, but in your relationships.
Robert closed by sharing that his own failures changed the way he understands confidence. Trying to maintain the appearance of having it all together once drove his choices. Embracing honesty about his past, including his mistakes, created a deeper, more grounded confidence. Vulnerability made room for intimacy. It also made room for freedom.
Confidence, as this conversation makes clear, is not about having it all figured out. It is about standing upright in your humanity. It grows when you stop carrying everything alone, when you choose kinder self-talk, and when you anchor your worth somewhere deeper than your performance.
You may feel worn down right now. You may feel unsure, tired, or discouraged. That does not mean you lack confidence. It may simply mean you are human and carrying more than most people see. There is strength in that, even when it does not feel like it.
