Where to Find Our Worth with Kimberley Mitchell
Where to Find Our Worth with Kimberley Mitchell
Where we find our worth is a search most of us have been on since we were children. And the older we get, the more layers that seem to get piled onto the core of who we are. Those layers might look like achievement. They might look like failure. They may be a job or even what we’ve been known for. All of those things contribute to who we are . . . but it’s easy to allow those things to create a sense of worth and identity in us that was never supposed to be there.
Robert and Kimberley were both raised as missionary kids or pastor’s kids. And for those of you who’ve been around the church for a long time, you might understand what they experienced with this idea about performing and how it pertains to your worth. So much of our self-worth can get caught up in what we do.
This month, we’re diving into the topic of finding our worth. To kick us off, Robert interviewed co-host Kimberley Mitchell about worth, specifically, where to find our worth. Kimberley is getting ready to step out of this season of co-hosting the Solo Parent podcast and into what God has next for her life.
Stepping Away from A Good Thing
For Kimberley, the struggle of deciding to step away from co-hosting the podcast affected her sense of worth. Especially since she doesn’t know exactly what’s next. “I’ve wrestled with God for a little while now. I felt him say ‘I’m asking you to do this.’” She reminded us that sometimes, God just wants us to obey.
“Then, human girl that I am, I questioned whether I really heard from Jesus. Maybe there’s nothing for me next . . .” She prayed, ‘C’mon Lord, what is it? Is there anything new for me to do? Is there something else?’ “And there are some days where I’m like, if it means just being home with my husband right now, that’s enough. Maybe it’s just time for me to let go of this and just be who God wants me to be.”
This idea of worth being tied up in what we do can really rock our world. For instance, Kimberley shared, “If I’m not the co-host of a podcast, then what am I? I know you know there’s bigger things, but when it’s been a part of your life for a while and God’s asking you to step into a new season that’s still undefined . . . it’s difficult.”
Your Worth Isn’t Found in What You Do
Kimberley grew up as the daughter of a preacher. She always served whether it be helping out the church or even singing. Her family even traveled around to sing. She shared that she was always tied up in the idea that Jesus’ love for her was tied up in what she did. That her worth was found in what she was doing for God. “I wanted to serve and do well for Jesus.”
She realized just how much her worth was tied up in the things she did when she moved to the United States from Canada. She stepped away from everything she was involved in: co-hosting a tv show, a big church, etc. When she moved here, she had to start all over again, which left her feeling like she had no purpose. “I remember my daughter coming to me one day and saying, Mom, people here just don’t know what you’re capable of. They don’t know what you’ve done.”
Kimberley admits she still struggles with it to this day. “I think I will always struggle with the performance stuff and I don’t know why. Because God has just asked us to be. I’m learning it better and better . . . but man oh man, it’s hard.”
Dealing with Self Doubt and Worth Amidst Divorce
When you’re in a toxic relationship or marriage, it takes effort to know your worth and identity. It takes strength to know when to walk away. And it all comes back to where you find that strength.
He (my husband) had left the house in a rage. I called my pastor at the time and he was so calm and gentle with me. He was like, ‘Kim, his bark is louder than his bite. I’m going to pray and here’s what I want you to remember: He will come back and it will not be pretty. But you’re not going to take in any of those words he’s going to say. The whole time he comes back and is talking, this is all I want you to say, “Do not be afraid. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Be strong and courageous.” And he kept repeating it. Say those words over and over and over.’ He (my pastor) was right. He came back and it was just the worst night ever. I just sat there saying, ‘do not be afraid because you’re with me Jesus.’ And that was truly the moment of change. It was the hardest, scariest thing I’ve ever done and yet the best thing I’ve ever done.”
The Struggle is Refining
There’s something very refining about going through divorce and stepping right into the struggle. There’s something very purifying about that moment when you know it’s just you and God. Especially when you finally stop worrying about what others think about your situation.
“I was a part of a great church family. My ex and I hadn’t been going there for a while. But I remember calling that pastor one day saying, ‘I just want to come with my kids. I don’t want to sing, I just want to come.’ He said, ‘This is your family, of course.’ A couple days later, the worship pastor called and said, “Hey, we’re going to put you on the schedule.” And I’m going, ‘No, no, no, I can’t. I don’t want to sing anymore. I just want to come.’ He said, “Yeah we talked about it and singing is going to be really healing for you. So we’re just going to put you on the schedule, and that’s that.” Kimberley was so grateful for pastors that loved her through the thick of her divorce. So much so that they encouraged her to use her gift on the platform, despite the messiness of life.
And for six or seven years, Kimberley would drag her kids to that church at 6 or 7 a.m. on Sunday mornings. They would sit in that worship team room and God let her sing again. “But one Sunday just as I was about to step on the platform, I could hear the enemy’s voice going, ‘Who do you think you are? I know what you’ve done. I know all your things. Who do you think you are to step out on this platform and sing in front of these people?’ And it took my breath away. But I’m walking out onto the platform and I’m like, ‘Yup, you’re right. I do not deserve to stand on this platform. I should not stand on this platform. Except that I know the grace and forgiveness and hope and love of Jesus. And that’s why I stand on this platform.’ Why would I ever want to sing any of these songs except that I know who God is and He took a really, really broken girl and a really, really awful situation and He’s letting me sing about His hope, truth, and love to people who are also broken . . . And I think that’s the beauty of Jesus. He says, come to me all of you who are burdened and heavy laden and I will give you rest. You are worthy and you are loved because Jesus loves you.”
God is using us—even in our weakness. He calls us worthy . . . not because you have your marriage together. He calls you worthy because you are His child.
Hold onto Jesus and don’t let someone else’s words be louder than God’s words. And it’s easy to let that happen, especially human’s words. It might be an awful boss or a toxic friend or even an ex-spouse. Words are really important. But let the voice of Jesus be louder. At the end of it all, that’s who we’re with and that’s who we’re standing in front of. He never leaves . . . hold on tight to Him.
Filling Your “Worthy” Tank
We all want clarity and answers. Especially when we don’t know what’s next. But it all starts with stripping away the things that we’ve piled onto the core of our identity.
Kimberley shared a quote by Ann Voskamp that says, “I know it's hard to know how it's all going to work out, this season, that problem, these kids, that situation. What if you didn't need to know what was coming ahead of you, as much as needed to lean on Him who is beside you?”
God didn’t create us to just serve. He created us for His pleasure . . . to be brought closer to Him. So when you need to remember where your worth comes from, go to the Father. Come close to Him. He’ll remind you exactly who He made you to be.
“There’s lots of things I don’t know. But I do know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my life. And I’ve got to trust that. I don’t know and there’s joy and peace in that.”
Where we find our worth is a search most of us have been on since we were children. And the older we get, the more layers that seem to get piled onto the core of who we are. Those layers might look like achievement. They might look like failure. They may be a job or even what we’ve been known for. All of those things contribute to who we are . . . but it’s easy to allow those things to create a sense of worth and identity in us that was never supposed to be there.
Robert and Kimberley were both raised as missionary kids or pastor’s kids. And for those of you who’ve been around the church for a long time, you might understand what they experienced with this idea about performing and how it pertains to your worth. So much of our self-worth can get caught up in what we do.
This month, we’re diving into the topic of finding our worth. To kick us off, Robert interviewed co-host Kimberley Mitchell about worth, specifically, where to find our worth. Kimberley is getting ready to step out of this season of co-hosting the Solo Parent podcast and into what God has next for her life.
Stepping Away from A Good Thing
For Kimberley, the struggle of deciding to step away from co-hosting the podcast affected her sense of worth. Especially since she doesn’t know exactly what’s next. “I’ve wrestled with God for a little while now. I felt him say ‘I’m asking you to do this.’” She reminded us that sometimes, God just wants us to obey.
“Then, human girl that I am, I questioned whether I really heard from Jesus. Maybe there’s nothing for me next . . .” She prayed, ‘C’mon Lord, what is it? Is there anything new for me to do? Is there something else?’ “And there are some days where I’m like, if it means just being home with my husband right now, that’s enough. Maybe it’s just time for me to let go of this and just be who God wants me to be.”
This idea of worth being tied up in what we do can really rock our world. For instance, Kimberley shared, “If I’m not the co-host of a podcast, then what am I? I know you know there’s bigger things, but when it’s been a part of your life for a while and God’s asking you to step into a new season that’s still undefined . . . it’s difficult.”
Your Worth Isn’t Found in What You Do
Kimberley grew up as the daughter of a preacher. She always served whether it be helping out the church or even singing. Her family even traveled around to sing. She shared that she was always tied up in the idea that Jesus’ love for her was tied up in what she did. That her worth was found in what she was doing for God. “I wanted to serve and do well for Jesus.”
She realized just how much her worth was tied up in the things she did when she moved to the United States from Canada. She stepped away from everything she was involved in: co-hosting a tv show, a big church, etc. When she moved here, she had to start all over again, which left her feeling like she had no purpose. “I remember my daughter coming to me one day and saying, Mom, people here just don’t know what you’re capable of. They don’t know what you’ve done.”
Kimberley admits she still struggles with it to this day. “I think I will always struggle with the performance stuff and I don’t know why. Because God has just asked us to be. I’m learning it better and better . . . but man oh man, it’s hard.”
Dealing with Self Doubt and Worth Amidst Divorce
When you’re in a toxic relationship or marriage, it takes effort to know your worth and identity. It takes strength to know when to walk away. And it all comes back to where you find that strength.
He (my husband) had left the house in a rage. I called my pastor at the time and he was so calm and gentle with me. He was like, ‘Kim, his bark is louder than his bite. I’m going to pray and here’s what I want you to remember: He will come back and it will not be pretty. But you’re not going to take in any of those words he’s going to say. The whole time he comes back and is talking, this is all I want you to say, “Do not be afraid. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Be strong and courageous.” And he kept repeating it. Say those words over and over and over.’ He (my pastor) was right. He came back and it was just the worst night ever. I just sat there saying, ‘do not be afraid because you’re with me Jesus.’ And that was truly the moment of change. It was the hardest, scariest thing I’ve ever done and yet the best thing I’ve ever done.”
The Struggle is Refining
There’s something very refining about going through divorce and stepping right into the struggle. There’s something very purifying about that moment when you know it’s just you and God. Especially when you finally stop worrying about what others think about your situation.
“I was a part of a great church family. My ex and I hadn’t been going there for a while. But I remember calling that pastor one day saying, ‘I just want to come with my kids. I don’t want to sing, I just want to come.’ He said, ‘This is your family, of course.’ A couple days later, the worship pastor called and said, “Hey, we’re going to put you on the schedule.” And I’m going, ‘No, no, no, I can’t. I don’t want to sing anymore. I just want to come.’ He said, “Yeah we talked about it and singing is going to be really healing for you. So we’re just going to put you on the schedule, and that’s that.” Kimberley was so grateful for pastors that loved her through the thick of her divorce. So much so that they encouraged her to use her gift on the platform, despite the messiness of life.
And for six or seven years, Kimberley would drag her kids to that church at 6 or 7 a.m. on Sunday mornings. They would sit in that worship team room and God let her sing again. “But one Sunday just as I was about to step on the platform, I could hear the enemy’s voice going, ‘Who do you think you are? I know what you’ve done. I know all your things. Who do you think you are to step out on this platform and sing in front of these people?’ And it took my breath away. But I’m walking out onto the platform and I’m like, ‘Yup, you’re right. I do not deserve to stand on this platform. I should not stand on this platform. Except that I know the grace and forgiveness and hope and love of Jesus. And that’s why I stand on this platform.’ Why would I ever want to sing any of these songs except that I know who God is and He took a really, really broken girl and a really, really awful situation and He’s letting me sing about His hope, truth, and love to people who are also broken . . . And I think that’s the beauty of Jesus. He says, come to me all of you who are burdened and heavy laden and I will give you rest. You are worthy and you are loved because Jesus loves you.”
God is using us—even in our weakness. He calls us worthy . . . not because you have your marriage together. He calls you worthy because you are His child.
Hold onto Jesus and don’t let someone else’s words be louder than God’s words. And it’s easy to let that happen, especially human’s words. It might be an awful boss or a toxic friend or even an ex-spouse. Words are really important. But let the voice of Jesus be louder. At the end of it all, that’s who we’re with and that’s who we’re standing in front of. He never leaves . . . hold on tight to Him.
Filling Your “Worthy” Tank
We all want clarity and answers. Especially when we don’t know what’s next. But it all starts with stripping away the things that we’ve piled onto the core of our identity.
Kimberley shared a quote by Ann Voskamp that says, “I know it's hard to know how it's all going to work out, this season, that problem, these kids, that situation. What if you didn't need to know what was coming ahead of you, as much as needed to lean on Him who is beside you?”
God didn’t create us to just serve. He created us for His pleasure . . . to be brought closer to Him. So when you need to remember where your worth comes from, go to the Father. Come close to Him. He’ll remind you exactly who He made you to be.
“There’s lots of things I don’t know. But I do know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my life. And I’ve got to trust that. I don’t know and there’s joy and peace in that.”
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